Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) is on an intergalactic mission in space doing what he does best: Slashing bad guys, bedding gorgeous hispanic chicas and just being an all-round badass.
Back to earth, before all the space stuff, Machete and Sartana (Jessica Alba) are attempting to capture crooked US military supplying the Mexican drug cartel. The mission goes terribly wrong and Sartana is killed. Machete is taken prisoner by some evil American vigilantes, who want to slowly torture him to death. Fortunately, Machete’s thick skin saves him, well that and the fact that the president of the United States himself (Carlos Estévez aka Charlie Sheen) wants a word with him. Machete is sent on a mission to save Washington D.C. from a schizophrenic Mexican revolutionary who wants to bomb the American capital. In the process he finds out that maybe the real bad guy is a guy named Voz (Mel Gibson) who plans to destroy the earth and flee to space. Continue reading
If you were wondering who was going to star in Robert Rodriguez‘ sequel to his own Machete: Check out this trailer for Machete Kills. It’s got everything you love about the first film, although and I hope it’s just the editing in this trailer, I hope Danny Trejo’s character isn’t reduced to one-liners even more in this. Nothing against corny one-liners per se, but comedic timing in this trailer isn’t as great as they think it is.
So how about this trailer? Charlie Sheen is in it (as the president), Mel Gibson (aptly playing a villain), Lady Gaga (in a classy red dress), Michelle Rodriguez (looking tough), Jessica Alba (doing Lord knows what), Amber Heard (playing a Miss Bala type character), Cuba Gooding Jr. (remember? he won the Oscar), Vanessa Hudgens (doing her usual face), Antonio Banderas (with a mustache!) and that busty woman who purposely speaks with an over-exaggerated Spanish accent from Modern Family (showing off her large breast, once more).
Machete Kills comes out in American theaters September 13th, 2013. I’m still excited for it, but a bit less than in my last post. Hopefully that’s a good thing so I won’t have unrealistic expectations about it.