The Canyons (2013) – 2 (IMDb 4.2) – Drama, Thriller (USA)
What happened to Lindsay Lohan? She was supposed to be the next big thing and now she is… Poor girl. I used to be a fan of her work and she used to look great, now look at her! Anyways, The Canyons is quite simply a train-wreck of a movie. Lindsay Lohan co-stars with porn star James Deen (haha, so clever! I know right?) in what is one of the worst thrillers I’ve ever seen. To give you an idea: I loved I Know Who Killed Me and still defend it, so I can appreciate a good genre film. Everything about The Canyons however is bad, like bad soap opera bad. The only good thing about this film, sorry to be so vulgar: Tenille Houston’s glorious tits. Other than that there’s Gus Van Sant in the shortest of cameos and of course the beautiful scenery where the film takes place. This is an irredeemable film and I hope nobody sees it, for their own good.
That’s the only bad film of the week, luckily. If you watched a bad film and want to warn everyone about it: Please do. If not: I’m happy for you.
We all love the Criterion Collection. They release and restore some of the best films of all time and some add great features in every single one of their releases. A lot of care and attention for detail. Most of all they put a lot of love and passion in their work, because they love movies, just like us.
Every great marketer however also knows that a good product is never enough. The right package can be a lot more convincing sometimes. The people at Criterion know this and that’s why they’re just as devoted to making a good cover art as with everything else they do.
If you’re a fan of the Collection, I’m sure there are a lot of personal favorites you’d like to see in there. Searching the web for some fake Criterion releases you can find a lot of fun stuff, but also daydream and hope one day your favorite film will make it into the prestigious Collection.
Here is some of the best fan made art I found. Some of these aren’t even real films (namely Rob Zombie’s faux Grindhouse trailer for Werewolf Women of the SS or Eli Roth’s film within a film Nation’s Pride). Some of these are highly unlikely even to be considered for a Criterion release (I Know Who Killed Me). For other films the studios smartly hold on to their rights (2001: A Space Odyssey). Most of these are also some of my favorite films, some of these are simply good-looking or genius (like the one for Dancer in the Dark) and others I feel are underrated or overlooked (Marie Antoinette and The Virgin Suicides).