Category: Mini-Reviews

Mini-Review: Scooby & Shaggy Team up with John Cena & Sin Cara in Scooby-Doo! WrestleMania Mystery (2014)

trailer-for-scooby-doo-wrestlemania-mystery
Did you know that Scooby (Frank Welker) and Shaggy (Matthew Lillard) were into wrestling? I wonder how William Hanna and Joseph Barbera would feel about that. In any case Scooby and Shaggy are really putting the mania in WrestleMania with their enthusiasm for the newest WWE video game. Did you know that if you complete the video game you win a trip to WWE City and get front row seats for WrestleMania? Never heard of WWE City? It’s the Las Vegas of lucha libre. Of course on their trip to wrestling heaven the gang runs into all kinds of troubles involving pro-wrestlers, giant ghost bears and Scooby Snacks!  Continue reading

Mini-Review: Dino Risi’s Il Sorpasso (1962) is a Perfect Snapshot of Italy in the Sixties

Il Sorpasso 1962
*Attenzione: Spoilers*

It’s Ferroagosto in Rome. Everyone’s on holiday, except for Roberto (Jean-Louis Trintignant) a law student, already preparing for his exams in September. Hold on, I see a Lancia Aurelia. Yep, that’s Bruno (Vittorio Gassman). Who the hell is Bruno? I don’t know he’s a 40-ish man who wants to use Roberto’s phone. Roberto let’s him in. To thank him for the favor Bruno invites Roberto to breakfast. Driving like crazy across the Italian west coast the two become great friends, but then the film needed an ending.  Continue reading

Mini-Review: Bong Joon-Ho’s Snowpiercer (2013): It’s Like Noah Only in a Dystopian Future and on a Train, Also: Lots of Snow and Ice and Brrr

snowpiercer
Welcome aboard the Snowpiercer: A magical train that has been running for 18 years now, safely transporting the last human survivors in circles around the world. Global warming has rendered earth uninhabitable: The year is 2031 and our green planet has turned into a white popsicle. Unhappy with the dictatorship on the train Curtis Everett (Chris Evans) decides to take matters into his own hands and start a revolution. His mission? To get to the end of the train where evil Ed Harris, I mean Wilford, is controlling the sacred engine. How long will it take? Just about two hours, give or take.  Continue reading

Mini-Review: Duane Adler’s Make Your Move (2013) Makes No Sense (Whatsoever)

make your move
Donny (Derek Hough) is a New Orleans dancer out on parole. One day a friend shows him a videoclip of his brother Nick’s (Wesley Jonathan) club in Brooklyn. Without thinking twice about it he consciously breaks parole and flies to New York (don’t ask me with what money, because he hasn’t any). Once he gets there he starts all kinds of trouble, mostly because of this hot Korean dancer Aya (BoA) he doesn’t even know, but happens to be the sister of Nick’s rival club owner/ex-BFF Kaz (Will Yun Lee)Continue reading

Mini-Review: Sex is Comedy (2002) or Catherine Breillat’s 8½ About the Making of Fat Girl

sex is comedy (2002)
Jeanne (Anne Parillaud) is a French director shooting a film in Portugal. Her films seem to be strikingly similar to those of French auteur Catherine Breillat. She even likes to cast the same actress (Roxane Mesquida) and is interested in the same themes. Her newest movie is about a young woman’s first sexual experiences with a douchebag who’s just trying to get into her pants (Grégoire Colin). Jeanne is having a hard time shooting the film as her actors don’t seem to be comfortable with the sex scenes. Especially her lead actor is proving to be annoying and vain. But at the end of the day art must prevail (with or without fake penises).  Continue reading

Mini-Review: Lab Rats, Apes and More Animals in Michel Gondry and Charlie Kaufman’s Human Nature (2001)

human nature (2001)
Puff (Rhys Ifans) is a horny, untamed man who lived in the wilderness all his life. His father raised him to be an ape. One day Nathan Bronfman (Tim Robbins), a doctor obsessed with table manners and his girlfriend Lila (Patricia Arquette) an attractive woman who suffers from a rare disease that makes her body hairy, go for a walk in the forest. As you’d expect they stumble upon Puff. Bronfman decides to take the man-ape to his lab to study him and train him to become human. Things start to get complicated when Gabrielle (Miranda Otto), Dr. Bronfman’s sexy French assistant comes into the mix.  Continue reading

Mini-Review: Coraline Meets Lost Meets Pac-Man in Vincenzo Natali’s Haunted House Mystery Haunter (2013)

Haunter-Abigail-Breslin
*Spoilery Spoilers*
Lisa (Abigail Breslin) is a fifteen year old who can never turn sixteen, because she lives in a house where she just re-lives the same day over and over again. Yes, it’s just like Groundhog Day only with ghosts, 70s fashion and no Bill Murray. Lisa tries to uncover the mystery of why she is trapped in this house with her family. She tries to go out, but that doesn’t work. She travels time, she eats a lot of meatloaf and she re-watches the same episode of Murder She Wrote until she just can’t fucking take it anymore, and who can blame her? That Angela Lansbury is one annoying bitch, like my grandmother (RIP) used to say and my grandmother was a great person.  Continue reading

Mini-Review: Bananas (1971) – An Early Woody Allen Film Just Throwing Everything at the Screen

bananas 1971
Bananas is a free state, you know apart from having a dictator. A group of revolutionaries with thick cigars and uniforms that look a lot like those of Fidel Castro and his buddies are trying to start a revolution. Meanwhile Fielding Mellish (Woody Allen) a neurotic blue collar man living in New York City gets involved with a social activist (Louise Lasser) who wants to overthrow the cruel regime of Bananas. After they break up Mellish decides that it’s a good idea to take a trip to Bananas in the midst of the country’s crazy social upheaval. What happens next is all kinds of crazy and incoherent.  Continue reading

Mini-Review: Chocolate (2008) – The Story of a Kick-Ass Autistic Chick With a Passion for Smarties, M&M’s and Martial Arts

Yanin_Vismitananda_Chocolate_2008
Meds are expensive in Thailand. There’s no free health care in Thailand. People don’t like to pay debts in Thailand. So what do you do when your mother has cancer and can’t afford to pay for hospital bills? If you’re Zen (Yanin “Jeeja” Vismistananda) a young autistic girl with some sick martial arts skills you look up all the people who owe your mother money and go kick their asses with your chubby best friend Moom (Taphon Phopwandee). What about the mafia? That’s still the easy part, the real problem are the flies. Zen hates flies. Not to worry because Moom has an electric mosquito killer and he’s not afraid to use it!  Continue reading

Mini-Review: My Little Bride (2004) – A Fairy Tale About Arranged Marriage or a Pedo’s Wet Dream?

mylittlebride_grab07
Sang-min (Kim Rae-won) is a twenty-something college student and bit of a playboy (or douchebag depending on who you talk to). Bo-eun (Moon Geun-young) is an ordinary 15-year-old high school girl. One day, out of nowhere, Bo-eun’s grandfather announces that he hasn’t much to live and so it’s time to bring up an old promise he made to his father and his BFF. Basically, Bo-eun and Sang-min have to get married. Why? Because their Great-grandparents were war buddies and made this pact. The two kids don’t really like the idea at first, but then the old fart tricks them into agreeing. What happens next is pretty standard romantic comedy fare.  Continue reading